Heroes IV--Stonewall Jackson

Heroes IV—Thomas J. “Stonewall” Jackson

Lest you think that all my heroes are fictional, let’s jump to a few historical figures. First off: one of the greatest (arguably) military men the Americas ever produced: Thomas Jonathan “Stonewall” Jackson. Much as it embarrasses me to admit it, I still haven't finished Dabney's defining biography of him after three years of on-and-off effort. But I will. In the meantime, I still know a few things.

Born in the backwoods of Virginia in 1824, he survived becoming an orphan, brutal work, and poor schooling until he entered West Point at the age of eighteen. There he displayed a single-minded determination that was to mark the rest of his life, rising from dead last in the academic rankings to seventeenth by graduation. His peers later said that if studies had lasted another year, he would have made first place. He immediately left to fight in the Mexican war as an artilleryman, earning some recognition for a gallant defense at Chapultepec. He was assigned to the Virginia Military Institute after the war and taught there. While he was a terrible teacher—he memorized his lectures, recited them by rote, and never deviated from them—he was a better churchman, and taught Sunday school to the black slaves of Lexington. His first wife died here in childbirth.

When the war broke out, he organized the 2^nd, 4^th, 5^th, 27^th and 33^rd VA Regiments into a brigade he commanded. On July 21^st, 1861—156 years ago to the day—he led them to immortality on the fields of Manassas. General Bee attempted to rally his fleeing troops by shouting, “Look at Jackson! There he stands like a stone wall. Rally behind the Virginians!” Both the commander and the brigade would ever after bear the sobriquet “Stonewall.”

Afterwards came the triumphs that built his legend: The Valley Campaign, Second Manassas, Chancellorsville. His audacity, speed, and coolness under fire all became parts of an enduring story that was almost a myth. His basic Calvinistic believe in divine providence gave him no cause for fear, his solitary devotion to duty left him no time for playing politics. There were the enemy, and it was his God-given, terrible duty to destroy them until they laid down their arms. With his brilliance came all the usual idiosyncrasies of genius—he always stayed bolt upright even in the saddle to keep his organs in place; sucked lemons; tended to throw his left hand out, palm upright, as he waged battles and implored divine providence; and tended to throw the full weight of military court-martial at subordinates who committed very minor offences. But his soldiers loved him and he won battles—the two ultimate tributes to a fighting commander.

He died of pneumonia May 10th, 1863, eight days after being mistakenly wounded by his own troops after his great triumph at Chancellorsville. He had cemented his place in history in a little under two years. A great soldier, a devout Presbyterian, and a doting husband, he remains an inspiration to me and many others in North and South alike.

Heroes III--Obi-Wan Kenobi

Now that’s a name I’ve not heard in a long time...

(How long?)

A long time...

    Since according to the local paper, Star Wars came out twenty-five years ago today, it seems fitting to proceed to my next hero of fiction. Jedi Knight, teacher, hermit, strategist, and wiseacre, Obi-wan Kenobi stands out as the foremost character of Star Wars outside the Skywalker family. His portrayal has been excellent through every incarnation. Alec Guiness’ nuanced performance in the original when telling Luke his story is literally the reason George Lucas was able to make prequels. Ewan McGregor gave the young Obi-wan a dash of spirit and charm that along with Anthony Daniels carries the prequels through some of their worst moments (Except maybe that mullet in Attack of the Clones). James Arnold Taylor bridged the two with an excellent voice performance in Clone Wars. From the first lightsaber battle with Vader, to that epic multi-level duel with Maul, to Asaij Ventress, Grevious, Savage Opress and Maul together... even Anakin on Mustafar...he’s had the best battling skills in the franchise to date with a blade. And even in the darkest moments, he never loses his cool. 

And did you know that now that "Obi-wan Kenobi" is a traditional fourth nonsense answer on multiple-choice questions online? Now you do.

"I've got a bad feeling about this..."

"You're Not A Match for Him, Cap"

The scene is tense. A nine-foot-tall robot is this close to taking over the world and wiping out humanity. Just one man is close enough to stop him. But this man (while a very strong and active man) is only that—not enough to stop this remorseless mass of metal.

It’s comic land, of course, and a Marvelous one, at that. Captain America is going after Ultron in Seoul during the epic Avengers: Age of Ultron, and he is alone. None of the team capable of going toe-to-toe with the villainous robot—Iron Man, Thor, the Hulk—is even on the same continent. It’s up to him.

And at the precise moment he goes into the fray and is dodging fire, his teammate calmly informs him, “You’re not a match for him, Cap.”

Encouraging. Real sunshiney bedside manner you have there, Hawkeye. Way to stand by your teammate.

I can relate. Most of my focus problem stems from another monster of modern technology: the entertainment culture. Whether that’s computer games and Netflix or the darker side of the net, it seems irresistible. Sit down. Be consumed. You tried scheduling? No dice. You try abstaining? You have to be near it for work. The siren call draws you in and consumes not only your free time but your sleep and time for other projects. You get hollow eyed and exhausted and instead of learning your lesson, you just fall quicker. Every time, nothing works. You try to fight your habits and desires, and you find out… you’re not a match for him, Cap.

Eye roll. Thanks, Barton.

No, actually that’s good news. You see, laziness/gluttony is a sin. It stems from Sin, proper. And if there was ever a monstrous baddie that was too big for one man to fight, sin qualifies. You really can’t win, James my lad. Not a hope. Impossible. Might as well give up. What’s the world worth, anyway?

But against all measured wisdom, Cap shows us the right solution. Jump in and fight. Go hand to hand. Slow it down with every trick, dodge, and evasion in the book, even if it feels like you’re throwing peas at a tank. Hurl the shield and watch it bounce off. Again. And again.

You don’t have to win. You just have to slow it down long enough for help to show up. Sin is inherently self-absorbed. It likes to forget about God. The greatest Power of all time, the one who promised never to leave you or forsake you. You may complain that He’s not here. You’re fighting alone just as usual. God’s absent!

Of course He is. Like any good hero, He likes to show up just in the nick of time. The story’s better that way.

So the next time temptation, technological or otherwise, stares you in the face and your mind tells you with a perfectly straight face, “You’re not a match for him, Cap,” what do you do?

Jump in. Throw the Shield.

Heroes II

The Lone Ranger

Stats

Classification: Hero of Fiction (TV, Radio, Film)   

Origin: 1933, Radio Station WXYZ in Detroit

Skills: Excellent horseman, strategist, pugilist, and unsurpassable quick-draw artist.

Defining Moment: Lone Ranger TV Series, 1949-57

“A firey horse with the speed of light, a cloud of dust, and a hearty, ‘Hi-yo Silver!’—the Lone Ranger!”

Yes, return with us now to those thrilling days of yesteryear! I grew up with a few Lone Ranger episodes on VHS (yes, I will tell my children tales of VHS the way my father talks of 8-tracks) as well as Roy Rogers and Hopalong Cassidy. And they taught me a few truths that many of my compatriots missed out on. Keep your word. Help the underdog. Thinking and planning ahead will beat pure force nine times out of ten. And lastly, the good guys always win. Some of the storytellers of our day in Hollywood and New York could stand to relearn that last one.

Here rode a man who stood for justice, who needed no reward, notoriety, or frequently even thanks. He never shot to kill, because “if a man must die, it’s up to the law to decide that, not the person behind a six-shooter.” While I am neither fast or accurate enough to live up to that rule, it’s a great sentiment. Not to mention his bullets were made of silver, meaning he had to count the cost every time he pulled the trigger. He made enemies forgive each other; defended old men, women, and children; and generally worked to grow the West up into the kind of civilization that wouldn’t need him. Today’s government workers could take note.

The actor who portrayed him on TV, Clayton Moore, took his role as a children’s icon very seriously, striving to communicate in his personal life the same values he lived by on screen.  He remains the only actor with a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame that also has the name of his character.

Hi-yo, Silver, away!

Heroes

Behold, the fit is on me. Bystanders beware, for I must write.

My intention is over the next few weeks to do a series of posts on my heroes. These may come from fiction, history, or acquaintances, and will be ranked in no particular order. My guess is that you, dear reader, may learn a little bit about me. Perhaps I may as well. We become like what we worship, and in this case, I believe we become like what we respect (or spend time with) as well.

My hope is that I choose to become like those who are worth following. A fellow whose hero is Josef Stalin is going to turn out different from one who idolizes FDR or Lincoln, who again is going to be different from one who loves John Adams. What you chase determines often where you wind up. And with the pervasive influence of media in our culture, a fictional role model can be just as important as a historical.

This seems worthy of a post in itself. But for now… on to our first hero.

Optimus Prime

Stats

Classification: Hero of Fiction (TV)

Appearance: 18-wheeler truck cab/giant red and blue robot

Origin: First in Transformers, 1984.
Skills: Leadership, wisdom, tactics, history, hand-to-hand combat, and a mean driver to boot.

Defining Moment: “Orion Pax, Part 3” “Alpha/Omega” (Transformers: Prime S2)

He’s first because he inspired this series of posts, and also because he is probably the biggest. He is, after all, an 18-wheeler truck a large part of the time. Hailing from 1984, born of the desire of some American and Japanese businessmen to sell toys, he has since become THE face of a hugely popular franchise. Multiple cartoon series, big budget hours-long explosions… I mean, Michael Bay films, and yes, toys. The version of Optimus that inspires me, though, comes from one of my two favorite cartoons of all time—Transformers Prime. And if you’re one of those people that think cartoons are for little kids, think again. This series is amazing—and often more adult than you’re expecting.

Optimus is the ultimate selfless leader—wise, patient, brave, and trusting to a fault. And millennia of combat have made him one of the few warriors that can stand a chance one-on-one with the big bad himself, Megatron. He won’t fight unless all the other options are exhausted, but if he does, run—the Big Guy packs quite a punch. He puts himself, and his team, on the line for humanity when they cannot do so themselves, and is content with anonymity—a robot in disguise. Sound familiar?

Great Moment: Optimus Prime is probably best encapsulated in the episode “Alpha/Omega,” where he and his nemesis battle wielding weapons that could destroy cities with ease. Megatron, ever the egocentric motormouth, pointedly observes that “At last we take our rightful places, Optimus—as gods!” He calmly replies, “I am but a humble soldier, Megatron, and you are the victim of your own twisted delusions!”

And of course, much credit goes to one of the great masters of voice acting, Peter Cullen, who can make anything sound cool, from the famed command “Autobots, roll out!” to great epic usages of epimone like this:

“I am Optimus Prime, and I send this message: Though we did not choose to be of Earth, it would seem that we are here to stay. If you approach this planet with hostile intent, know this: we will defend ourselves. We will defend humanity. We will defend—our home.”

Okay, and this picture just 'cause I'm proud of it and it's cool...