It's that time again--time to revel in the slips and the slops, the misunderstandings and the falling short, the errors and the mistakes. Here are my favorite moments from my students of the last school year--and if you don't get it, make sure you read it again! Enjoy, and don't forget to chuckle!
“The storm eschewed rage, and the ship drowned in that rage.”
“Thucydides did not believe that Homer was historical, because he was a poet who naturally romanticized things. This I know because we talked about it.”
Thucydides admires naval power. Why do you think this is? “He was big into boats.”
“Justice is determined by those in power and severs their own interest.”
“God showed mercy when an Angle was killing people.”
“God promised that a descendant of David would always sit on his thrown.”
“The first and most important of the four questions that an etiological myrrh should answer is how did the universe start?”
“If a company fails to provide adequate resources for its employees, then it also fails to produce adequate products for its costumers.”
“People our age are much less receptible towards the Bible.”
“My cousin got extremely sick early in the trip and was bedridden for a large part of it; he even had to get an ivy.”
“I accepted [a last-minute replacement as a starring role in a play], knowing I really didn’t have a choice if the show were to go on, because the role [the other guy] played was so detrimental to the story.”
“The writing styles for both books are similar since they were written by the same author, which is Pluto.”
“It is difficult to write a true story well; maybe this is simply because I am accustomed to writing fiction in which the truth is subjunctive.”
“The first Roman triumvirate of 60 DC…”
Who was the third member of the 1st Triumvirate? “Lipidus” [This is great on two levels. The student was thinking of Lepidus who was part of the 2nd Triumvirate, but wrote it “Lipid” which is, of course, another term for “fat”—which is the English translation of the correct answer, Crassus!]
